I woke up at 4:00 am and saw the blinking LED on my phone. A lot of missed calls and text messages. Then, he called up again. I held my phone and was hesitant. I was torn between ignoring the call and answering it. I made a very quick pros and cons. I picked it up. Why? Because I want to let him know that I was hurt. That I know everything about the silly games he play. That I have no plans of getting back together with him. So there, we talked. He was crying. He told me how he wanted to change bla bla bla. That he loved me so much bla. My reply to his statements were “NO. Please. Just let me move on. I’ve been nice to you so I think I still deserve one last favor. And that is you, leaving me alone.”
He accepted it. He asked how he can make it up to me. I said, by thinking of his brother’s and mother’s welfare will be more than enough for me.
He was still crying. I can feel the sincerity (or narcissists are really damm good actors?). Because I’ve seen that before. And I know after he’s done with his crying, he’ll just go back to his normal routine of making my life miserable which I’M ALREADY FUCKING DONE WITH.
My primary reason for having that last conversation is to make him feel that I was hurt, I’ve been very nice to him and also because I really needed that for my self-esteem. I needed the sincerest form apology he could give me. My soul needs it.
So there…no more drip, drip, drip. I am finally moving on. I will have no worries of him blackmailing me because I left in good terms with him. You know how narcissists plot revenge when they feel something doesn’t go their way. That’s why I inculcate in his mind that I was nice to him and I was hurt that’s why I’m leaving. At least, when he thinks of me, he wouldn’t feel the need to kill me.
Dammm. My soul is now free. Thank You, God. Thank You so much!
God, that was one dammm of a lecture. 😛